Stone Zoo

“Good but small”

“The condition of the zoo habitats was less than ideal. Dirty, needing more water, etc. Many are also too small for the larger animals. I felt bad for the animals that were pacing back and forth, clearly stressed out. I guess as a kid you don’t realize these things until you’re an adult. We left because my heart broke for the jaguar and Arctic fox who were the ones pacing back and forth, cougar with its mouth open and tongue out.”

“Went to the zoo with my wife on our anniversary: (tragedy ensues) Last week Monday was my 27th year of being married to my beautiful wife. We thought to celebrate our life together we should go to the zoo together. We hired a babysitter for the kids and left them in Connecticut. We were so excited when we finally arrived at the zoo, which we hadn't been to in years. As we walked through the zoo, we stopped at the gorilla enclosure a little longer than the other animals. After all, gorilla's are my wife's favorite animal and i wanted her to be happy. While she was watching the gorillas, i looked to my side to see a suspicious looking zookeeper creeping around with a jar full of mosquitoes. I assumed he might have been taking the mosquitos to feed to some animal, maybe bats? But that wasn't anything near the truth. The truth was something i could have never imagined. The zookeeper came up behind my wife and opened the lid of the jar, unleashing 100s of mosquitos on her. The tiny insects instantly swarmed around her. She screamed in terror as her entire body was enveloped in the creatures, i could not even see her. And after just 15 seconds which felt like a million light years, the mosquitoes dissipated to reveal a dried out husk. They had drained all of her blood. my wife's husk stumbled over the railing and fell into the gorilla enclosure where it was ripped apart. I looked over to see the zookeeper, who seemed amused and proud of what he had done. I could not contain my anger, i lunged at the zookeeper, i picked him up and slammed him into the gorillas. The gorillas caught him in mid air and ripped him in half at the waist. The gorilla held each half of him in one arm and spun around in circles, building up momentum before throwing his two halves into a tree. My anger had not left me yet. I walked over to my wife's purse and found one of those little dinosaur eggs that grows in water. I shoved in the mouth of another zookeeper and poured a bottle of water we got at the gift shop on it. The dinosaur grew to immense size's and shattered the zookeeper's skull from the inside. And after that i was put on probation for public indecency. TLDR: Rude zookeepers ruin vacation and i get put on probation”